Dear Moms:
We've been hit with a tsunami, like the Pandemic or political upheaval we can’t pilot through a tsunami. You have to get under it, where the ocean is calm. But how?
Anxiety is a habit, we learned this when it wasn’t safe growing up to express our real deeper feelings with parents who’d learned it wasn’t safe for them. This actually makes anxiety worse. What makes the anxiety go away is connection, connection inside with our deeper feelings of fear, anger, sadness, with ourselves, and sharing these with a safe other person.
Social media is offering up a lot of ‘we can do this” cheerleading, and fun jokes about hiding out in a closet sipping a martini while letting the kids run wild. What we don’t see is Mom is screaming at her kids when she’s beyond her limit, or calling her husband a name, then feeling lingering guilt. Some moms report feeling more anxious and inadequate reading social media right now.
We need what our kids need; Food, sleep and play. Not so much school and evolving. We need to get under the wave and likely regress to feel adequate to the task of being Mom. The most important role as a Mom is to find a way to stay in relationship with our kids when both are emotional, and resistant. Both need their needs appreciated, even if it’s not comfortable.
Moms need a safe space to have all their feelings, which in turn helps them let their kids have theirs. It’s especially important now as strong feelings are so close to the surface.
This is why I’m offering a safe small virtual group for Moms to have feelings without judgement, and find clarity for how to best navigate this uncharted time.
Let me know if you’d like to give it a try. Or a Mom who would.